Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Cloud of Unknowing

I can't take credit for the title of this post. It is a book written by a 14th century monk. I've always loved the title, because it accurately reflects a spiritual journey. So often, we are asked to surrender to something we don't know, don't understand, don't necessarily agree with, and sometimes it's just darn hard!

My new writing project is like this. Fiction is a whole new world to me. Memoir was a piece of cake. I had my journals. I'd lived the experiences I was writing about. Grappling with the emotions wasn't easy, but I knew what I was grapping with.

This time, I don't yet know the characters, the plot, the conflicts, none of the elements that make fiction fiction. Yet, I have received inner guidance that I am to do this. I am to trust the process. So, day after day, I sit. I am reading some books I have been drawn to that might pertain to the book. Perhaps I need to immerse myself in them until something emerges.

Oh how I envy those of you who dream up characters and storylines and can make detailed outlines to follow. At least I'm not just sitting and staring at a blank page or screen. If nothing comes, I journal, or walk, or practice singing. Or I edit my workshop presentation which is coming up pretty soon. And yes, I am equating writing with a spiritual journey because, to me, it is. Everything that happens in my life is part of my journey towards inner peace and contentment.

How do you handle the cloud of unknowing in your lives?

Blessings,
Karen

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Truth can be stranger than fiction: the tragic saga of Lucky, my golden retriever

Today we are lucky to have a guest post by writer, Julie Lomoe. Enjoy!

Truth can be stranger than fiction: the tragic saga of Lucky, my golden retriever
By Julie Lomoe

Dogs have long played a central role in my life and my fiction but Lucky, the beautiful golden retriever in my author photo for /Mood Swing: The Bipolar Murders, /may have been the last dog I’ll ever own. Six months after the photo was taken, he died of lymphoma, and in the years since then, I’ve switched to cats. Setting up this Blog Book Tour, reading my hosts’ reactions to the photo, I realized I’d never written about Lucky. Since Karen’s blog focuses on memoir and nonfiction, this seems like the perfect time.

But Rishi, the dog before Lucky, deserves pride of place. He’s a major character in "Mood Swing." In fact, his image is in my cover illustration, and his name is the first word in the first chapter:

"Rishi was halfway out the window and onto the fire escape when I tackled him. Arms around my dog’s massive shoulders, I groped for his choke chain and yanked hard. Half a dozen pigeons flapped skyward, squawking."

I described him on Page 2:

"He’s leaner and rangier than a German shepherd, stockier than a Doberman, bigger than a Rottweiler. Despite his forbidding looks, he’s a basically friendly beast, but sometimes it’s in my best interests not to let people know that."

That last sentence was literary license. Rishi was wonderfully affectionate and loving, but only to our immediate family, and he was never adequately trained. Despite a near-death experience with a neighbor’s hammer that left a permanent dent in his skull – a story for another time – Rishi lived nearly ten years, a good long life for a big dog. But his death threw me into a deep depression.

Enter Lucky, a year or so later. He came into our lives with what seemed at first to be joyous synchronicity. At a Woodstock party given by friends of my daughter Stacey, someone mentioned having a golden retriever who needed a new home. I was instantly intrigued – we’d owned a beautiful golden named Shawna when Stacey was a child, and except for her propensity to chew up the woodwork during thunderstorms, she’d been a wonderful member of the family.
Right after the party, I paid a home visit to meet Lucky, fell instantly in love, called my husband on my cell, and within a week we had a beautiful four-year-old male golden. He came with a tragic back story: he’d been the beloved companion of an 84-year-old man who lived alone in the Catskills, and when the man was hospitalized, one of the nurses befriended both him and Lucky. Shortly after the man’s discharge, he was brutally murdered by a neighbor he’d known and trusted for years, a handyman in search of money for drugs.

The nurse took Lucky in, and in turn passed him on to the folks who gave him to us for adoption. The poor dog was threatening the family’s togetherness. They already had a couple of young kids, a poodle and a cat, and a rambunctious young retriever sent them over the top. The husband’s job took him on the road a lot, but when he was home, he told us, he and Lucky slept together downstairs while the wife, kids, poodle and cat slept upstairs. Not exactly a prescription for marital bliss, so Lucky had to go.

Soon after the photo session with Lucky, his health began spiraling downward. He couldn’t seem to keep food down, and he was weakening and losing weight. After extensive testing, the vet diagnosed lymphoma. In a futile attempt to buy more time, we opted for extensive – and expensive – surgery. In retrospect, that was a mistake, but he’d been so young, so lovable, that we thought it was worth the gamble.

He died in early fall. We buried him in the garden out back, marked the spot with a marble plaque bearing an iris design my husband had carved years before. I planted dozens of bulbs – crocus, daffodil, and hyacinth – and they’ve bloomed luxuriously in the three years since.
Dogs play a major role in both my novels, but they never, ever come to a bad end. In fact the villain in my suspense novel /Eldercide /nearly refuses an assignment when he thinks it might mean harming the victim’s Jack Russell terrier. And I could probably never write that scene where the neighbor tries to murder Rishi with a ball peen hammer, with me coming between them, shrieking that he’ll have to kill me first, screaming bloody murder until the neighbors call 911 and the police arrive. On the other hand, maybe enough time has passed – and after all, the dog survived in the end.

As I write, my cat Lunesta is writhing around on the desk next to my computer, tempting me to rub her tummy and doing her best to bat the mouse out of my hand and onto the floor. Does she sense I’m writing about dogs? Is she demanding equal time? For now, she’ll have to wait.

Julie Lomoe has been named 2009 Author of the Year by the Friends of the Albany Public Library. She’ll be honored at a luncheon on November 14th, and she’s scheduled her first Blog Book Tour to help celebrate and spread the word about this achievement. Julie self-published her two mystery novels, Mood Swing: The Bipolar Murders (2006) and Eldercide (2008). She tried the traditional route to publication for both books, but after a limited number of rejections, she found the process inordinately depressing and turned to print-on-demand technology instead, using the Texas publishing company Virtual Bookworm. She loves the control and involvement she’s had over the published product, including the fact that she was able to use her own cover illustrations for both books.

Although she still hopes to land a traditional agent and publisher, she intends to do so on her own terms when the time and the match feel right. The library’s selection committee for the Author of the Year award chose Julie especially for her novel Eldercide, because of its relevance to current issues surrounding health care reform and our nation’s treatment of the elderly and of end-of-life issues. The award has been given for decades, but this is the first time the committee has chosen a self-published rather than a traditionally published book.

Julie Lomoe knows home health care from the ground up. As President of ElderSource, Inc., a Licensed Home Care Services Agency in upstate New York, she became certified as a Personal Care Aide and filled in frequently for absent aides. The experience inspired Eldercide, the first in a mystery series featuring the staff and clients of Compassionate Care, an agency in the fictional town of Kooperskill, New York.

Julie’s first published novel, Mood Swing: The Bipolar Murders is set in a social club for the mentally ill on Manhattan’s Lower East Side. The work was inspired by her many years of mental health experience, both as a professional and as a consumer. Both books are available online from Virtual Bookworm, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

A Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Barnard College, Julie received an MFA from Columbia University and an MA in Art Therapy from New York University. She lived in SoHo for many years, exhibiting at the Museum of Modern Art, The Brooklyn Museum, and many Manhattan galleries. She showed her paintings and won a prize at the Woodstock Festival of Music and Art in 1969, an experience she blogged about in a three-part series this past August. Julie has published poetry as well as articles on home care, mental health, aging, and women’s issues.

Visit her blog, Julie Lomoe’s Musings Mysterioso (http://julielomoe.wordpress.com/) to learn more and read the first chapters of her novels.

Thank you, Julie, for such a lovely guest post and best of luck on your book blog tour!!

Blessings,
Karen

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Telling the Truth Tuesday - Michael Jackson

Last Friday I couldn't write. Nothing was happening. I'd stare at the blank piece of paper. I'd turn on the computer. I'd read a few blogs. Write a post for Friday. But nada as far as the new project went. I tuned in to inner wisdom and felt an urge to go see "This is It," the Michael Jackson documentary about the preparation for his final concert tour.

Just then the phone rang. The metaphysical bookstore where I am to give a talk in December needed more copies of the flyer. It's located not too far from the theater. Okay, then. Off I went to drop off the flyers and catch the flick.

Now, I have to say I'm not a huge Michael Jackson fan. I guess I was around 20 when he was 10 and singing "I'll be There" and "ABC" and all of those Jackson Five hits. He was adorable. I lost track of his music after "Billy Jean and Thriller and Beat It" all of which still make me get up and dance. Absolutely can't sit still when those tunes come on.

As for his personal life, I see it as tragic. Being a victim of childhood abuse myself, I can see where that might be part of the problem. His being a child star and having no childhood would just add to that. Having to live life in the limelight put more fuel on this particular fire.

But whether you admire and like Michael Jackson as a performer, whether you despise him personally, whether you empathize or vilify him, he was one of the most creative, innovative entertainers we've ever had. This film epitomizes that aspect of Michael's life. You get to see him in rehearsal, with other dancers and singers, the consummate artist. Frankly, it was mesmerizing. I found myself alternating between dancing in my seat, silently singing along, and being moved to tears when there was a tribute to the Jackson Five era and he sang "I'll be There" with him as a little boy in the background.

It was a tragedy to lose such a talent when he was poised to bring a dynamic concert to the world. I was filled with sadness for what will now never be. The take away lesson for me: Live each day to its fullest, because ya just don't know what's around the corner.

Blessings,
Karen

Monday, November 9, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up/Guest Blogger coming soon

Saturday was the day I participated in a book and craft fair in a suburb of Albuquerque nicknamed "Little New York" because during the 1950's hordes of New Yorkers purchased land in Rio Rancho and moved there. Now it resembles Long Island, with patches of housing sub-divisions and strip malls.

The book fair was held at the Inn of Rio Rancho. The room was jammed with local New Mexico writers and a few craft booths, so competition was fierce for book sales. I was situated between a fantasy and a mystery writer, both of whom were consummate sales people. I am not.
If someone came near the table, they would stand up, reach their arm across the table, introduce themselves and say, "I am a fantasy/mystery writer...." I could only watch in awe. I did stand up and introduce myself if someone stopped at my table. I did have chocolate and book marks available. Isn't that enough?

I had been dreading the event, imagining sitting there from 10 to 4 with not one person stopping by and not one book sale. That was not the case, however. People did come and chat, and at the end of the day I'd sold three books. Not bad for a memoir in the midst of mysteries, fantasy and childrens' books, all very popular genres.

There were other reasons to be grateful I participated. One of the women who purchased my book, as she was skimming it right there in front of me, looked up and said, "You are an amazing writer." When I asked her what she meant, she said, "You've taken a very difficult subject, a heavy one, and made it readable. That's a real gift."

Needless to say, that made my day, even if she hadn't bought the book. Then I connected with another writer, one from Santa Fe. I bought her book; she bought mine. Towards the end of the day, a woman who runs a book club asked if I'd consider talking at their club. Duh! Love to, I said.

Lessons learned: It's not just about book sales. It's about connecting. It's about getting the name of your book out there, even if people don't buy in the moment. Networking is key as well.
The connecting is especially true for memoir because it's so darn personal.

But I did tell my hubby, who, by the way, came with me and sat there all day, that I was considering switching to murder mysteries. My table partner sold 25 books!

And now for a cool announcement:

I wanted to let you know that Julie Lomoe will be posting a guest blog right here on Following the Whispers on Wednesday, 11/11. She'll be writing about dogs she's known, both real and fictional. She thinks she'll call it Truth can be stranger than fiction: the tragic saga of Lucky, her golden retriever. Julie is a fabulous writer and her blog posts are always interesting and well thought out. Please stop by on Wednesday to see what Julie has to say.





Blessings,
Karen

Friday, November 6, 2009

Gratitude

I am humbled by the support I feel from the community of folks who blog. No matter what I post about, there is always at least one person, usually more, who understands what I'm talking about--someone who truly gets it--and therefore, gets me. I don't always find that in my "real" life. But perhaps that's because, for most of my life, I was a chameleon. Now that I can't be anyone other than me, I am surrounded by people who may not always like what I say or do, or agree with what I say or do, but they love me anyway.

So I am grateful for the journey that has brought me to where I am today. Yes, that includes all the pain, hurts, traumas, losses, as well as the growth, love, and joy. I am grateful I found my way to writing. I am grateful for my family, my friends, my dog, and most especially, my hubby.

I am grateful to all of you for visiting, offering your thoughts, advice and support. And for doing what each and every one of you does to support your own lives and then sharing that journey with the rest of us.

It's hard to believe that a year ago I didn't even know what a blog was.

Blessings,
Karen

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Book Events

I signed up to participate in a day-long book and craft fair this coming Saturday. I am dreading it. Thinking about backing out. 100+ authors and crafts people purchased booth space (I purchased a half table) to benefit ReadWest, a literacy program in a suburb of Albuquerque. The cause is great. But is it worth my time to sit from 9 am to 4 pm and hope someone stops by the table and buys a book?

I've spoke with other local authors about this. Some only do events where they are the only author, such as book signings. Others do everything they can to put themselves out there.
I've only done one booksigning. It was at the launch of my memoir, back in February. And it was mostly friends and family who attended and purchased books. Since then, all sales have occurred from either bookstores or online.

Recently, I made a decision to focus on giving talks about issues raised in the memoir. I have the first one scheduled for December 5 at a local metaphysical bookstore. It is called "Tuning in to Intuition--a practical approach." I have no idea if anyone will sign up to attend or whether they will purchase my book even if they do come. But it feels organic to me to do this kind of thing. In this way, I am sharing me, sharing my story, sharing insights I've learned from hardcore life lessons.

Luckily, it was never my intention or expectation to sells thousands of books. Being self-published, that just isn't a realistic goal. So my motto has been, "one book at a time."

Whether you are a writer or a reader, if you read these posts, what are your thoughts about book events? As a writer, do you find them beneficial? As a reader, do you actually purchase books at these things?

Till tomorrow,
Blessings,
Karen

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Choices

We always have choices. Do I want meat or fish? If I want fish, what kind do I want: salmon, tuna, shrimp? How hungry am I? Do I just need a small snack or a full meal? What do I feel like doing? Am I in the mood for a movie, music, hanging out with friends? If it's friends, who do I want to spend this particular time with?

All these choices, if I am really present and paying attention, force me to check in with myself to see what I need. Tuning in to my body is a new experience. I've been alive on this planet for 60 years, but it is only now that my awareness of my body is so prevalent. As a victim of early childhood sexual abuse, I learned early on to numb my body. My senses were also dulled. Often I felt as I imagine a mummy might feel.

Yesterday I had plans to visit an 83-year-old friend. I hadn't seen her in quite awhile. She doesn't get out much any more and seems to really enjoy my company. But I'd had a very busy day on Monday and didn't get any writing done. That didn't feel good. So Tuesday morning, I tuned in. What I really needed was to remain at home, in my jammies, assimilating the workshop experience from Sunday and opening myself up to the next phase of that journey.

Hard phone call to make, telling my friend I wasn't coming. Boy, this business of standing up for myself sure is making its presence felt in my life these days. But it was so absolutely the right thing for me to do, even if it disappointed someone I care about.

Choices. In every moment of every day, we have choices. What are you choosing?

Blessings,
Karen